


Interviews

by theoakpancake



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Asylum, Humanstuck, Interviews, asylumstuck
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-12
Updated: 2016-03-24
Packaged: 2018-05-13 11:26:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 1,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5705956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theoakpancake/pseuds/theoakpancake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>12 people in an asylum. 7 dead staff members. This is their story.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Aradia Megido

_Hello Miss Megido_

 

You can just call me Aradia

 

 _Alright Aradia._ _We have some questions to ask you, please answer them honestly and completely_

 

Sure

 

_Lets begin._

_Why were you admitted into the asylum?_

 

Well, isn't that a story. I suppose the whole root of the problem began when I started hearing the voices. I was around 6 years old then, and they were, other than Sollux, my only anchor. But I suppose you didn't ask me this question to hear me go on and on about my past. The main reason I was admitted was because the voices kept getting louder, interfering with my daily activities.

 

_Didn't they give you medication for it?_

 

Yeah, they did, but it didn't really do much to make the voices go away.

 

_What were your thoughts when you first entered the asylum?_

 

I first observed the people there. I recognized my good friend Sollux Captor, who, as far as I knew, had gone missing a year or so before. There was also some drama going on. Some average height, sweaty guy was holding back a slightly tallish, very ferocious girl from attacking what looked like a tall clown wannabe. I later learned that their names were Equius Zahhak, Nepeta Leijon, and Gamzee Makara. A few strangers were sitting around at tables, eating food that looked a tad bit like vomit.

 

_Please explain more about Miss Leijon_

 

Nepeta? She's pretty nice when you get to know her. She is a bit hyperactive, and has a strange obsession with cats and shipping. She has bad blood with Gamzee, but neither she, Equius, nor Gamzee have said anything about it.

 

_Do you think that she would kill someone?_

 

I'm not sure. I don't know her well enough to answer, but I would say probably not.

 

_Do you have any suspicious about who killed the staff?_

 

I'm not one to point fingers, but if I had to make a guess, I would say Vriska Serket.

 

_Can you tell me about Miss Serket?_

 

She's a horrible person, really. She paralyzed Tavros and blinded Terezi. She has twisted morals.

 

_How do you feel about John Egbert?_

 

John? He's really cool. One of the funniest people in the staff, really. I feel really sorry for him now though. The poor guy doesn't deserve what he got.

 

_Do you have anything else to add?_

 

No not really

 

_Alright, thank you for your time. We may come back later for more questioning._

 

Okay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first fanfiction. If you have any feedback, please let me know


	2. Tavros Nitram

_Hello Mister Nitram_

Hi

 

_Please answer all the following questions as accurately and truthfully as possible_

 

All right, I guess

 

_Very good. Now, why were you admitted into the asylum?_

 

Well, uh, I can talk to animals, and people find it kind of weird.

 

_I see. What was your first day at the asylum like?_

 

Everyone was outside, and Vriska had organized a sort of FLARPing campaign

 

_Did you know Miss Serket from before you were admitted into the asylum?_

 

No. I met her when she, um, chose me as her rival in the above mentioned campaign

 

_How were you paralyzed?_

 

Vriska pushed me off a roof because, well because of many reasons

 

_Do you mind explaining?_

 

She said that I was too weak, and that she, uh, was doing this to make me a bit stronger or something.

 

_I see. Do you have any information as to who killed the staff?_

 

I don't know. It really seems like a horrible thing to do.

 

_Who do you think may have killed them?_

 

Again, I don't know. Eridan seemed to dislike some of them, then again so did Karkat and Vriska, but Karkat seems to dislike pretty much everything

 

_Do you have any other information to add?_

 

I hope that you, uh, find the killer without too much trouble

 

_Alright Mister Nitram, thank you for your time_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone has ay suggestions as to how I can improve this, please do not hesitate to give feedback


	3. Equius Zahhak

_Hello Mister Zahhak_

 

Greetings

 

_Please answer the following questions as accurately as possible_

 

I understand

 

_Why were you admitted into the asylum?_

 

Following a nasty incident with Gamzee, I was sent here with Nepeta, for a combination of the fact that I am very strong, to the point where I am unable to use many tools without damaging them, and because I am the only one that can keep Nepeta somewhat calm.

 

_So you would say that you control her moods then?_

 

That is incorrect. I look out for her wellbeing and she looks out for mine.

 

_You are the one who knew Miss Leijon the best, correct?_

 

Yes, that is correct. Our families are very close, and we spend a lot of time together. She is like a sister to me. Why do you ask?

 

_Do you think that she could have been involved in the murder of the staff?_

 

I do not believe she would have taken such a course of action. Nepeta is on relatively good terms with all of the staff, and she is not the type to go on a mindless killing spree.

 

_But what about the incident with Gamzee?_

 

....

 

_Answer_

 

...

 

[ _the recording device ceased to function]_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope that it is beginning to make sense now. Constructive criticism is welcomed.


	4. Gamzee Makara

_Hello Mister Makara_

 

Sup

 

_Please answer all questions honestly and completely_

 

Of course bro

 

_Do not address me as bro_

_Now let us begin_

_Why were you admitted into the asylum_

 

Well I all motherfucking got involved in some shit with Catsis and Equibro

 

_What kind of business_

 

Nasty kind

 

_Please elaborate_

 

But I don't wanna fucking elaborate

 

_You said that you would answer all questions_

 

I did. I answered it saying that I don't wanna talk about it

 

_That is not a sufficient answer_

 

Why not?

 

_You know exactly why_

 

No actually I don't. Any other motherfucking questions?

 

_Did you kill the staff?_

 

No, killing people is wrong, bro

 

_Your past actions suggest otherwise_

 

That was when I wasn't all motherfucking high and shit

 

_How are you able to sneak drugs into the facility_

 

That's my little secret

 

_Answer_

 

Nah bro

 

_Fine. What are your opinions on the staff?_

 

They're all cool and shit. Except when they put needles in me and try and wean me off my drugs. Those things work miracles, bro

 

_I'll take your word for it. Anything else to add?_

 

Why does John all up and motherfucking mutter stuff about green now?

 

_Thank you for your time_

 

But-

 

_I may come back for more questioning. Goodbye_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have never written for Gamzee before... If you have suggestions, please tell me


	5. Sollux Captor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not writing his lisp  
> I also have never written Sollux before

_Hello Mister Captor_

 

Hi

 

_Please answer the questions as accurately as possible_

 

Sure

 

_Okay_

_What are your relations with the staff?_

 

They're cool. They don't let me have any technology of any kind, but that's understandable. I keep hacking them if they let me have access to computers.

 

_What do you do when you hack them?_

 

I pull little pranks, like whenever they try to remove anything containing nicotine, a bee flies across the screen pulling a banner that says 'Don't do drugs kids.' I also did something so that whenever they press the s key, a video of Swiper from Dora the Explorer jumps onto the screen and dances around.

 

_Anything else?_

 

I've done more than that. Those are just the most recent two

 

_I take it that you like the number two?_

 

You could say that

 

_Did you and the staff get into any disagreements?_

 

Other than the computer stuff, no not really

 

_Would you kill the staff because of it?_

 

No way. That's a stupid reason to kill someone for.

 

_Would you ever kill the staff?_

 

No

 

_Why are you here?_

 

FLARPing accident. It's a long story

 

_Mind explaining?_

 

You have all my records and shit. You know exactly what happened.

 

_So, why did you push Aradia off that roof anyway. I heard you two are very close_

 

I DIDN'T  push her!! It wasn't me! DO you think I get any sleep at night without getting plagued by fucking nightmares about it?! If I had refused to go onto the roof with Vriska and Aradia, none of this would have happened! It's my fault that Aradia spend three years in a coma. I didn't push her, but it's my fault. Oh shit now I'm crying.

 

_You are free to go._

 

_O-okay_


	6. Nepeta Leijon

_Hello Miss Leijon_

 

Its not purronounced like that

 

_What do you mean?_

 

You said my last name wrong

 

_How do you say it right then?_

 

The 'j' makes a 'y' sound. 

 

_I'm pretty sure that the 'j' makes the 'j' sound_

 

Not in Europe! Since I'm European, purrlease purronounce it right

 

_Alright. I will be asking you some questions. Please drop the cat puns. Also no roleplaying_

 

Dang it!

 

_Alright, lets begin_

_Why were you admitted into the asylum?_

 

There was a pawful- sorry, awful incident with the psycho clown

 

_Do you mind describing it?_

 

He almost killed my best friend! He almost killed me! I shouldn't be here at all. But I defended myself against him, and look what I get for trying to stop him!

 

_Your records say that you are also in here for violent tendencies. Do you mind describing?_

 

I'm not violent! I just kill animals in my backyard to cook. Whats so violent about that?

 

_Why don't you just buy meat?_

 

Because store bought meat tastes horrible.

 

_Each to his own. What were your relations with the staff?_

 

They are very nice. I like them a lot. Much nicer than the staff at the mental hospital I had gone to before. 

 

_When was that?_

 

I don't want to talk about it

 

_okay_

 

Any more questions?

 

_Would you kill the staff?_

 

Nope

 

_Thank you. We will come back for more questioning later_

 

Okay?


	7. Kanaya Maryam

_Hello Miss Maryam_

 

Hello

 

_We will ask you a few questions. Try to answer them as accurately as possible_

 

Understood

 

_Why were you admitted into the asylum?_

 

It is a very long story. I made a few mistakes, and in hindsight it was a grave mistake. 

 

_What are your relations to Eridan Ampora and Gamzee Makara?_

 

I do not have many positive things to say about them. 

 

_Why did you harm them?_

 

I harmed Eridan because he went on a rampage and almost killed Feferi, Sollux, and myself. I harmed Gamzee for the same reason

 

_Was the use of a chainsaw necessary?_

 

Yes

 

_Very well. What were your relations to the staff?_

 

They are great people, and are very good at what they do. I miss them terribly.

 

_I see. Do you have any suspicions about who killed the staff?_

 

I think that Eridan is the one who did it. I had seen him with a gun a couple days before the incident. 

 

_Okay_

_Anything to add?_

 

I wish you success in finding the killer

 

_Thank you_

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfiction. I understand that it may be confusing at first, but it should get clearer as we go on


End file.
